is just about the greatest thing to come along since…the last time any of these people were involved in anything. Seriously, look at the pedigree of talent we have on display here. No wonder Archer
is so spectacularly amazing. And the range of Archer
merchandise out there is pretty fun, and certainly a great gift for fans of the show.
With everything from plain and simple t-shirts, to branded ISIS clothing (you can pretend you work for a really cool company when you’re hanging out with non-fans), plus clever creations such as the How to Archer
guidebook, there are some pretty neat items out there. This is intended as a top 10 list, so it’s by no means comprehensive; just a few of the more clever items to be found.
Archer Merchandise: A top 10 gift list
1) Danger Zone T-shirt
Starting things off with something that encapsulates everything Archer has ever been about: Awesome gymnastic secret agent moves, spectacular marksmanship, impeccable fashion sense, and snappy one-liners. All in one.
For a show that has so many potential t-shirt designs, the actual range available is downright tiny. For some reason there just aren't that many out there. It probably has something to do with the cultish status of the show, but, obviously, this is a good one.
They could probably make a whole t-shirt out of each and every line said by the guy, but oh well. But at least we have this one. One that implies a zone of danger.
2) ISIS T-shirt
Archer ISIS Logo T-shirt
This one's pretty clever. I thoroughly enjoy all the world-expanding sorts of gifts that are to be found, the ones which fans wear, but really, those things don't particularly exist. This way you can pretend you're a secret agent and love Archer at the same time!
What's really great is that it looks like a perfectly legitimate business, so if anyone asks if that's where you work, you can say yes.
And keep in mind there are quite a few variations on this one; this is just the t-shirt, but there are polos, long sleeves, and women's options as well. This is merely the representative of the category, due to its plain and simple plainness and simplicity.
3) ISIS Mug
ISIS Logo Mug
Speaking of bringing the fictional world into the real one, this is another great way to do it. If you've got plenty of t-shirts already, and want something you might actually use over the course of the day (particularly if you're planning on downing as much Scotch as Archer, for example), here's something you can actually use.
And this is just the coffee mug. On top of that you can find all sorts of other ISIS gear, from trucker hats to wallets and plenty of other stuff. I just picked this one because coffee mugs always come in handy, but click to peruse all sorts of other great choices bearing the magnificent logo of the greatest secret agent collective in the universe. Kind of.
4) Archer Quotes Drinking Glass
Continuing our love of all things alcohol-related, there isn't much that goes together better than Archer and drinking, and that's exactly why these Archer drinking glasses are so gloriously appropriate.
This one features quotations from the magnificent cast of the show. You know how drinking should never be done alone? Well, now you've got people to tag along with you. Kind of. Though in general, these aren't the most psychologically sound people, and drinks don't mix well with them. But whatever.
Certainly would make a great gift for Archer fans, since everyone can use more glasses. And Archer quotes, obviously.
5) Drinking Game Drinking Glass
Even better than drinking with Archer? Playing a drinking game with Archer!
This one makes a nice companion piece to the other glass, since obviously you'd only need one of each to enjoy the benefits of both.
With a variety of rules printed on the side of the pint glass, this is another fun gift for Archer fans, and one which would probably make a great activity night for a group of buddies who can't get enough of the show. I mean, I sure can't.
Oh, and there's an ISIS drinking glass as well (of course), so you can actually get all sorts of Archer pint glasses and have a party. It's on CafePress.
6) How to Archer: The definitive guide
Yes, indeed. There is, in fact, a how-to-be-as-cool-as-Archer guidebook. Oh yes.
How could we possibly have gotten by without having had such a wondrous work of linguistic magnificence before?
Okay, but seriously, this is actually pretty great. It's an entire book written in the personality of Sterling Archer, with how-to guides for how to be cool, how to dress, how to be an amazing secret agent, and so on.
Great coffee table book for Archer fans. It's the kind of thing that's great to read out loud among a bunch of friends. Ideally immediately after playing the Archer drinking game printed on the drinking glass above!
7) Black (or slightly darker black) turtleneck
Yup, it's your one-stop shop for an Archer costume. Available in black. Or perhaps slightly darker black.
There are, of course, a million out there, and this particular model happens to be 100% cotton, with a mock neck.
The tactical turtleneck. The tactile-neck. To be worn on all missions at all times.
You're on your own for silk socks, loafers, and fancy dress pants. But add these all together and you've got yourself a fancy Archer costume that'll be great for impressing all the ladies out there. Maybe.
One of the few pieces of Archer merchandise that'll let you be your hero.
8) Archer Suit Shirt
Archer suit jacket t-shirt
So this one's pretty great. You can get yourself an instant Archer outfit that mimics the artistic style of the show. It's something you just can't quite get if you just put on a fancy suit (unless you do pick up on this idea
At the moment this is an FX store exclusive, and it's a lot easier than buying a suit and painting it. Cheaper, too. It actually looks pretty great, since the cel-shaded style lends itself nicely to t-shirt prints, and the whole thing looks pretty believable.
So yes, you can dress up as Archer by just putting on a t-shirt and calling it a day. Though maybe you can get a friend together and he can wear the turtleneck, and you can be the duality of the suave gentleman and the secret agent.
9) Cast poster
It's hard picking just one option for this category, and there are a million different options for fancy shmancy posters of Archer characters to be found, so I highly recommend just buying every single one you can possibly find and calling it a day.
On the other hand, I picked this one because it has a little bit of everything. Plenty of the main characters (they can't fit everyone, though I wish they would), but this has enough of the main cast that it's going to be a glorious piece of wall art for years to come.
Heh heh. Innuendo.
Anyway, it's a nice poster, but it's not a bad idea to see the others before you pick out a favorite. They're all pretty great.
10) Totally Ninja Sticker
Once again, this is merely the representative of the vast array of great Archer stickers with which the universe has bestowed us.
Just about a billion of the one-liners can be found in sticker form, so it's pretty great to dig through all the options, but...well, I just like this one. It's such a great one-liner, and although it's not possible for me to say it's...better
...it's just great.
But once again, this is one of many hilarious options, and if you're a huge fan of Archer and stickers and one-liners, you'll have a whole evening of perusal ahead of you.